The Earth Party
Societal Peacemaking Series
3. Peace Between the Sexes
Part 1: Communication
3. Peace Between the Sexes: Part 1: Communication
The relationship between the sexes (or, more precisely, between the metaphysical forces of feminine and masculine) is a core element of society, and a primary driver of events in human history.
And its deterioration is the root of most conflicts, both individual and collective.
There is a war raging between the two, and it's been going on for quite some time. Most of our problems, challenges, and "issues" will not be solvable until we address this deeper conflict.
Humanity cannot move forward until we make #PeaceBetweenTheSexes.
This page is only for people who want to be peacemakers. Please continue to read ONLY IF your intentions are to facilitate peace and understanding. As you scroll down, there will be some difficult material relating to gender and sexual issues, and it may be emotionally triggering for some people.
This is your trigger warning.
There is a lot of pain related to this topic in the human psyche. In fact, it may be the greatest reservoir of pain that we're carrying. There are a lot of wounds to heal. Some of them are quite deep.
The process of healing them is surely not easy or simple. It will take time, and probably a lot of tears as well. We do not claim to have any quick-fix. It's a complex process.
But here's the good news: We know where to start.
The starting point is communication.
In order to begin the healing journey, the sexes (or the polarities, if you prefer), will have to start talking to each other. There needs to be a dialogue between them. Each side needs the ability to share its stories, and to hear the stories of the other side.
No matter how complicated the journey is, communication is the first step, and we can start it now.
1. Acknowledge that everyone has been affected by this war. No one has navigated through it unscathed. Everyone has been hurt, everyone has wounds, everyone resents what they consider to be the other side, and everyone has reasons.
2. Acknowledge that the communication is the key to peacemaking. There has to be a way to have dialogue, a channel through which we can at least communicate with one another. Be willing to talk.
3. Acknowledge that the goal is to make Peace with the other side, not to beat the other side. The war is not their fault entirely - it's neither side's fault entirely, and both share in the responsibility. Take this as a basic philosophical premise, and evaluate all subsequent logic from it, from the assumption of the Fundamental Equality of Responsibility - and if it seems to you that the other gender is more culpable than yours, assume that it must be because you haven't yet heard the whole story.
Assume that if you were to hear the whole story, you would see that either your gender is more culpable than you'd originally thought, or the other gender is less culpable than you'd originally thought, or both. Either way, assume that each gender played a role in co-creating this situation, and you'll acquire the listening skills to hear and find out that the assumption was correct all along. This is what Peacemakers do, even though, to their comrades-in-arms, it seems crazy. And when the people on the other side who have done the same crazy thing notice, together you'll constitute leaders of the Peace Process.
"Are you saying all conflicts are equally everyone's fault? Are you saying there's no such thing as an aggressor, and no such thing as a victim? No such thing as guilt or innocence? Every conflict's participants are all equally culpable?"
Not all conflicts- just this one. The gender one specifically.
Other conflicts may indeed have a clear aggressor and a clear victim.
But not this one - not the gender one, because the genders are more than just arbitrary sides in an arbitrary conflict - they are metaphysical components of Reality, and their conflict reflects a duality at a deep level of Reality.
It's one thing to blame a nation for starting a war with another nation, but it's quite another thing to say it's all protons' fault, or all the fault of "up."
It's not a false equivalency if the things we're comparing really are equivalent. And if they're metaphysical principles, they can indeed be (and are) equivalent. They equally constitute the fabric of Reality.
4. Acknowledge that the process of healing can be messy. As you listen to the other side share their authentic experiences, you're going to hear things that you didn't want to hear. They could be offensive, triggering, or just plain shocking. Whatever they are, be present, don't run away from the conversation, and don't interrupt. Be present.
5. Listen to the other side. And don't just listen - actively solicit their stories. Actively seek to learn about their experiences.
To address the grievances of the other side, we first have to learn what they are. A real conversation might go something like:
Man: "What are the main ways in which my sex/gender has been hurting you?"
Woman: (Makes a list of ways, and shares stories of personal experiences that illustrate them).
Then, we switch sides.
Woman: "What are the main ways in which my sex/gender has been hurting you?"
Man: (Makes a list of ways, and shares stories of personal experiences that illustrate them).
It's not the time for arguing yet. The purpose (so far) is not to debate and argue - it's just to listen, to find out what issues the other side is dealing with.
Once we've done that, we can proceed to discussing the actual grievances of each side.
Continue to the next page: